The Endless Path

Assalamualaikum and hi! So today, the faculty was organising Majlis Anugerah Kecemerlangan Akademik & Ko-Kurikulum 2021, you know... It is where you can know who got dean's list (DL) (Anugerah Dekan) for last semester etc.  A quick disclaimer, I didn't get DL. Seth did. I was so excited for Seth, and he was so happy about it ever since Semester 7 result was out.  I don't know where this is going, and I don't know what is the purpose of this post. But I feel like expressing, and because I think I am no longer who I was. The last time I was a top-scorer was when I enrolled in Foundation in Law. Getting GPA of 3.8 was easy, CGPA of 3.6 was nothing. And then I got into degree. Also, to make it clear, I am now in my Semester 8 (Final Semester) and Inshaa Allah I will be graduating next month. Throughout my degree journey (so far) I never got DL. 1st semester was tough, but 2nd semester was tougher. But Alhamdulillah, my CGPA started good and maintain until now. But for 7...

Assalamualaikum and hi,  All praise and thanks be to Allah, the One True Almighty God.  Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.  🤲🏼 First of all, I am glad to write here, that I passed my third year, with flying colours. I am now enrolling in my LLB professional year. This is my final year and inshaa Allah I will be graduating next year. To be honest I wanted to write as soon as I got my result but I was overwhelmed and many beautiful things happened that keep me occupied  😭🥺💙 Just love how in my previous post I was looking forward to this post, informing everyone I passed my third year of law school. 13/3/2021 ; Bapak was so happy that Seth and I aced our third year. We had a dinner celebration together with Sal and Aishah. I wish I could insert pictures because I miss the foods already. 29/3/2021 ; After I finished first day of classes, Afiq asked me out for a random lunch, opened door for me just for me to see a bouquet of roses on the seat 💐🌹 A little s...

Assalamualaikum and hi! Looking back, I feel a wee bit unpleasant for the fact that my first post of 2021 happened to be... the negative one? LOL but its all water under the bridge now, and I encounter a lot of nice people after the incident. I gained new friends too! Frankly speaking, it feels a bit awkward since I rarely interact with strangers, the people I never talked to. I was too comfortable with my chosen circle, my Instagram friends. Dont get me wrong, I am never an introvert, I talk a lot, but only in real life, not on social media. I tend to pull myself back because I just dont have the courage to talk to people online. Kind of different with most of the people huh? Keyboard warriors are so loud online, but if you were to meet them in real life, they hushed. But now that I have started to talk to some complete strangers, and they are not that scary! Grateful that there are still kind souls on earth.  If you couldnt find one, then be one <3 Anyways, I just want to expr...

this Twitter account contain a lot of opinions from me. you cannot tell me to shut up, its literally my Twitter acc. why are you here? if anyone were to spread hate about me, i will always stand for myself, keep my stance firm. and thats that. as long as there are people who understand and got my actual point, thats enough for me. as long as my message is delivered the way i want it to be heard, that would suffice. in this world, its like having two sides of the coin, people may choose which side theyre on. mana yang support kau, okay. mana yang bash kau, dengan segala hormatnya, sila mampos semua sekali. kita fuhhh kan saja 🤪 kepada yang bash, terima kasih sebab tunjukkan diri anda, supaya senang sikit saya tau acc mana yang saya kena block, for my mental health and for your peace 🤣🤣 kepada yang sudi faham, i like you. you can stay. actually this started by a sarawakian instructor/teacher, yang aku dah cuba discuss in private, but my dm wasnt replied. instead of replying to my dm,...

Assalamualaikum and hi yes... might sounds simple to you. but its not to me. braces was the first ever thing i spent on myself. the process cost me RM7K of my own hard-earned money. its always easy for me to spend on people, but not on me. so the braces/retainer was the first EVER. the sentimental value. i lost it. its gone for good. i cant remember how many times i misplaced the box/retainer kat kedai makan. or worse, i didnt bring the box so i'd put it in a tissue. which when i left the table i didnt notice the tissue was not rubbish.  yesterday, i was tired, just finished working and i was starving so i had dinner with friends kat kedai. dah lewat so kedai nak tutup dah, and i was rushing nak balik. at 3 am in the morning i noticed i forgot to take back my retainer on the table. of course the shops closed.  went there twice, look for it and couldnt find it. got the owner's number, and he said none of the staff noticed so probably dah buang. and garbage truck dah ambik sampa...

"if only people were honest about how they feel" maybe some things were better left unsaid maybe its fine to give second or even third, chance maybe i was the problem maybe its okay for me to learn how to trust again how guys can be so deceiving the hardest thing for me to do is to move on from the past mistakes he made. because the denial ive been living in. i cant accept this. hes been trying hard to make me forget, hes been putting so much effort to win my trust again. but the problem is, no matter how much he tries, no matter how much effort he puts in. i may be happy at that moment. but only at that time. because when i came home, when i came across the thought of it, the past mistake echoes in my head. like a flashback. and i instantly be furious again.  i really dont know what the future holds, but i am for sure want this one to be in mine. but, for the time being, if he chooses to stay, and still try, i dont know where this is going, honestly. i dont know if one day, ...

Assalamualaikum semua halo im in the car, thinking, and contemplating. i want to take a break, dont feel like going to work, just feel like writing...  im sad ☹️ sad because im tired. and i have no one to talk to. i know my friends are around. but i dont have the vibe to socialise with people now. i know if they ask me how am i doing, im embarrassed to tell them that im tired. so i’ll just say im doing ok. struggling but ok. plus i feel like a burden to them already.  wouldnt it be nice to have someone who eagerly waiting for you to get home. waiting for you to settle for the day and talk about your day. to have someone whom you can complaint being tired to, fatigue body and pening kepala. i feel like talking to him but hes always with his game. even if im talking, i feel like his focus is somewhere else. even if he asked me about my day, i feel like he’s asking just to carry on a conversation, not because he really cares or he really wants to know. you can feel someon...